Recovering the dream

When I was a kid, I had a secret dream. One way to say it: I wanted to save the world. Another: I wanted to solve all the world’s problems.

I thought I was special. Who knows? Maybe I was. Perhaps I could realize my secret dream.

I got older. I realized how complicated life was. I could barely solve my own problems. No way I could solve the world’s.

I put my big dreams aside and had smaller ones. Find someone I loved. Get married. Have kids. Build a house. Put one foot in front of the other. Live to fight another day. Survive!

I had ideas for business. Ideas for software. I had ideas for making money. I succeeded at some. Failed at others.

I gave up a few times. Or mostly gave up.

I survived. I retired. I unretired. I re-retired. I re-unretired.

I never stopped learning.

My dreams were pretty modest. Write some blogs. FIgure some stuff out. Not change the world.

But deep inside, my big dreams were still alive.

Now, something is changing.

This year the big dreams are being reborn. Or some version of the big dreams. I don’t think I can solve the world’s problems. But I can aspire. I can give it my best.

Who knows how much I can accomplish?

Why set limits?

I’ve got another ten, maybe twenty, maybe even thirty years left. Perhaps I can make something big happen.

I don’t have to do something big myself. Maybe I can inspire someone who does something big.

Maybe I can’t even do that.

Maybe the best I can do is to inspire someone who inspires someone else who helps someone else who inspires someone else.

That would be pretty good.

I’ve been building my skills, trying small experiments, avoiding attention.

Every ideal is a judge, Jordan Peterson says. I goal sets the criteria for failure, he says.

I’ve avoided articulating my goals because I’ve been afraid of failure.

But you can’t make much of a difference if no one knows you exist.

Your ideas can’t have much impact if no one knows where to find them.

You can’t fail until you give up.

So this is the year when I come out of hiding.

I can’t change the world all alone in my room.

So this is the year.

This year will be different.

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